the practice of gratitude

by dewain belgard

 

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st. paul wrote in closing his first letter to the thessalonians: "en panti eucharisteite." (in pahn-tee you-car-ih-stay-teh.) the king james version translates this: "in everything, give thanks."

"panti" is a form of the greek word "pas." literally it means "all." in english we meet it most often in the form "pan" as in pan-african or pan-american. it can refer to all things, all places, all situations, or the whole of something. in this saying of st. paul, i think "panti" is best translated "all circumstances."

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"eucharisteite" is a form of the verb "eucharisteo." in this saying of st. paul, i think it's best translated "be grateful." a noun derived from this same verb is used to name the central act of christian practice: the eucharist (also known as communion or the lord's supper).

the practice of gratitude was clearly of great importance to early christians. not so clear is that practicing gratitude can be a way of practicing mindfulness. one of the meanings listed in my greek lexicon for the practicing mindfulness. one of the meanings listed in my greek lexicon for the verb "eucharisteo" and its related forms is: "mindful of benefits." i think st. paul used this word to advise the thessalonians that in all circumstances, no matter how negative, they should be mindful of those elements of joy and blessing that may also be present.

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every set of circumstances has both positive and negative dimensions, but the negative often predominates and threatens to overwhelm us. there is so much pain around us that most of us learn from an early age to harden our hearts to it -- to shut out awareness of suffering. a paradox i have discovered in the practice of gratitude is that my capacity to be aware of suffering has increased in direct proportion to my capacity to experience joy and to be mindful of the blessings of every situation.

i think this is because compassion and joy are inseparable. compassion and joy are two of the four holy abodes of the buddhas -- the other two being loving-kindness and impartiality. all four of the holy abodes are interdependent and inseparable. in the pali language, the word karuna (kuh-roo-nah) is used to name compassion or mindfulness of suffering and the (kuh-roo-nah) is used to name compassion or mindfulness of suffering and the word mudita (moo-dih-tah) is used to mean mindfulness of joy and happiness. one of these cannot be developed apart from the other.

one of the reasons i think our contemporary culture is so hedonistic is that many of us have not developed the capacity to experience pleasure and joy in a profound way. as the rolling stones say in one of their songs: "i try and i try and i try and i try -- but i can't get no satisfaction." and i wonder if we will have much chance to develop our capacity to experience joy, happiness, and satisfaction very deeply so long as we are afraid to confront the suffering and pain around us and within us.

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even in our meditation practice, i've noticed we sometimes set up a duality that opposes mindfulness of the suffering around us to the mindfulness of joyful, happy, and refreshing things. we may feel guilty when we enjoy our food, for instance, because we fear such pleasure will distract us from awareness of the hunger so prevalent in our world. on the other hand, we may pull back from a very deep awareness of such widespread hunger for fear of being overwhelmed and paralyzed by sadness.

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but the issue of practice before us is not whether we should focus attention on the positive rather than the negative aspects of life or vice versa. the positive and negative dimensions of life are inseparable. if we harden our hearts to the pain around us and close our eyes to suffering, we also cut off our capacity to experience joy and happiness. and if we are not continually mindful of the joyful and beautiful elements of life, we cut off our capacity for compassion as well. for the benefit of all beings, therefore, we should consider it our responsibility to be mindful of the blessings and joys of every situation.

sometimes we may find it difficult to see anything for which to be grateful in a particular situation. but even in the most miserable of circumstances, i've found comfort in some words of meister eckhart: "remember this," he said, "all suffering comes to an end." we can at least be grateful for that.

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some years ago, a dear friend of mine named jim, my life companion for many years, was lying sick in the veterans hospital in new orleans. one day he told me he could no longer get to the toilet and asked if i would help him with the bed pan. i was overjoyed at the opportunity to help. he wanted me to spend the night with him, because he was embarrassed to ask the nurse or orderly to help him with personal hygiene.

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i called the physician and asked her permission to stay in the hospital with him. after some reluctance she agreed to grant me a pass to spend the night. it was about one thirty in the afternoon. i told jim i would go home to take care of our dogs and cats and that i would return about seven o'clock. he asked me to fix his watch on a nearby shelf so he could tell the time. so i arranged his watch. then i kissed him good-bye and left.

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when i returned about six thirty, jim appeared to be asleep. he was lying on his side in a position where he could see his watch, but his eyes were closed. his facial expression was peaceful. then i noticed how still he was, and as i drew closer i realized that he was dead. i think he tried to hold on to life until seven o'clock when he knew i would return. but he wasn't able to hold on long enough.

for several days i could hardly stop crying. i cried myself to sleep at night. i even cried in my dreams. i woke up in the morning crying. but with the help of friends, i began to see how fortunate we were that jim had been spared a long agonizing death. i realized firsthand the truth of a saying that had long been one of my favorite proverbs: "the power of love is greater than the power of death."

i feel truly blessed to have known jim and to have shared so many years with him. his life continues to this day in many wonderful ways. he designed and built, for instance, the room in which our new orleans sangha meets.

in the years since that time, i have come to see, especially with the help of thay nhat hanh's teachings, that for me the practice of gratitude in all circumstances is a fundamental and indispensable practice.

i know that nearly everyone of you can recount experiences similar to mine of pain, grief, and loss. life is at times difficult for us all. in the pali language, the word dukkha (dook-huh), which is often translated "suffering," in its root sense means "difficult." life is dukkha. that is the first noble truth. though it may seem paradoxical, dear friends, that truth is why i find it so necessary to practice st. paul's advice to the thessalonians: en panti, eucharisteite! in all circumstances, be grateful!

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